Mission Overview:
The Boston Wine Expo will explode upon the Seaport World Trade Center next weekend, January 23-24th. It attracts over 20,000 attendees and representatives from more than 450 wineries who will be pouring over 1,800 different wines. The tightly packed crowds, bellowing salespeople, and potential for drunkenness make attending the Expo one tricky operation. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be dangerous, intoxicating, and run you at least $85.The only way to survive is to plan out your attack with the precision of a black-ops team.
Phase One: Reconnaissance and Preparation
The night before, we highly recommend bulking up on carbs followed by a hearty breakfast the morning of the event. This will help when you begin downing a myriad of wine samples from every corner of the earth at one in the afternoon. Appropriate attire is critical as red wine spills are inevitable. DO NOT WEAR WHITE unless you want to come home looking like a Jackson Pollock-meets-alligator wrestler. Regardless of your clothing choice, Tide pens are a good idea and can score points with the elusive cougars, who are known to congregate at the event.
Phase Two: The Scout Mission
If you are with a group, pick a time and an easy-to-find rendezvous location to meet upon arrival . Then take a moment to familiarize yourself with the layout of the expo, locating key wine regions, the restrooms and —most importantly— the cheese and cracker stations. Avoid just jumping into line at the first table you come across. Take a spin around the display tables and pick out the wines that you’d actually like to enjoy. As the afternoon rolls on there will be plenty of time for swilling down whatever comes to hand.
Be sure to stop by and say hi to us at booth #230! Have your picture taken in our Photo Booth pick-up a FREE copy of the Annual Wine Guide AND enter to win free Crash Course tickets!
Phase Three: Drinking
We know you’re excited to down some tasty vino, but keep in mind who’s pouring. Many times it’s the winery owner or winemaker who flew halfway around the world for the event. Take advantage of their wealth of knowledge by asking questions, telling them what you think of their wine and inviting them to the bar for shots later that evening.
Finally, get the most out of your ticket by keeping track of the wines you like. We suggest taking photos of the bottles with your phone’s camera. This method not only allows you the opportunity to remember what you drank, but also an excuse to take photos of your drunken friends.
Phase Four: Evacuation
Plan an escape in advance. The Seaport is something of no-man’s land. Cabs are scarce, the Silver Line rarely delivers and assigning a designated driver at a paradise of booze is nearly futile. It’s best to leave before last call or make way to one of the local eateries and wait for the crowds to subside.
Attention: Short of the Newton High School varsity basketball team car wash, the Boston Wine Expo has the highest number of cougar sightings in New England. If you are a good looking, single guy under the age of 25 it is highly likely you will be cornered by Chardonnay-swilling divorcées. Gentlemen, if you’re going to find your Mrs. Robinson, this is the place.
Ticket packages for The 19th Annual Boston Wine Expo can be purchased at the door or online at wine-expos.com.
